Bearcub's Soapbox

Congratulations to everyone who won at the bloscars - well deserved everyone!

Also, thanks to everyone who voted for me for best newcomer - I was well chuffed at the nomination. In the end the best man won - well done Adam, you deserve it!

Well done everyone!

1. Have you ever successfully played a prank on anyone?
Definitely. It's an integral part of my humour. Phoning fedex to advise them I needed to send a human hand. Then phoning back to advise I was sending "Machine parts" for an Uzi. And the blade for a Machete. And yes, the shipments were connected....

2. Has anyone ever successfully played a prank on you?
Of course. They called me back.

3. Do you think they moon landings were faked?
No. I just think that it was a lot of effort for bugger all.

4. What the best April Fools day prank you've heard of?
Err... human hand, machine parts and machete blades?!

5. Complete this sentence: "Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice..."
"I'll get a machete, an uzi and a human hand to post off again..."

It's time for me
to go to beddie byies!

Sleep tight lovely wonderful blogland people!
See you all on the morrow!
x

Most of you know, I'm trying to learn to ride a skateboard. Tonight I noticed that something was amiss with the board. It wasn't running right and seemed to be slowing down very quickly. So I did a bit of tinkering and loosened the trucks (Wheels) a touch, gave them a good oiling from my handy pot of machine oil and now it runs like a dream.
I'm also trying to ollie (a basic jump). I managed a couple of stationary ones in the house (on carpet - soft landing).
Then I thought, outside. Give it a go. One attempt. Out goes the board. Splat. On my ass. Thankfully no one saw it!
So I just settled for skating around a bit more, getting used to the new sleek and speedy feel of the board!

It's that time again. Rules as usual. No Comments on here, answers by PM please!

Winners are those who get the answer in the least number of guesses!

You use me with a boat.
You use me with a door.
You need me in the morning.
You need me late at night.
But if you ever lose me,
Then the bill will be a fright!
What am I?

Six names you go by
*Jon
*JB
*Yanni
*Bearcub
*Shortarse
*Twattybollocks

Three things you are wearing right now
*Fred Perry T-Shirt
*Trainers
*Work Pants

Two things you want very badly at the moment
*Food
*Drink

Two things you did last night
*Eat
*Sex

Three favourite beverages
*Jack Daniels
*Guiness
*Tea

Two things you ate today
*Meat Pie
*Meat Pie
(I had two!)

Two people you last talked to on the phone
*Dad
*Marie

Two things you are going to do tomorrow
*Work
*Practice music

Two things you are not good at
*Remembering Lyrics
*Cooking

Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each 'offence' and added up your total fine. When you are done post this as: "My fine is £..."

Smoked pot -- £10

Did acid -- £5

Ever had sex at church -- £25

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- £40

Had sex with someone on Facebook -- £25

Had sex for money -- £100

Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- £20

Vandalized something -- £20

Had sex on your parents' bed -- £10

Beat up someone -- £20

Been jumped -- £10

Cross dressed -- £10

Given money to stripper -- £25

Been in love with a stripper -- £20

Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- £0.10

Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15

Ever drive and drank -- £20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50

Used toys while having sex -- £30

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20

Went skinny dipping -- £5

Had sex in a pool -- £20

Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20

Done oral -- £5

Enjoyed giving oral -- £5

Got oral -- £5

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- £25

Stole something -- £10

Had sex with someone in jail -- £25

Made a nasty home video -- £15

Had a threesome -- £50

Had sex in the wild -- £20

Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- £25

Stole something worth over more than a hundred pounds -- £20

Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20

Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- £25

Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- £50

Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25

Went streaking -- £5

Went streaking in broad daylight -- £15

Been arrested -- £5

Spent time in jail -- £15

Peed in the pool -- £0.50

Played spin the bottle -- £5

Done something you regret -- £20

Had sex with your best friend -- £20

Had sex with someone you work with whilst at work -- £25

Had anal sex -- £80

Lied to your mate -- £5

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- £25

Tally it up and title it: "My Fine Is..." copy and paste, then repost!

Well, I put my songs on one playlist last night on my iPod so I could practice. I decided to try without the music or lyrics in front of me. That way I could judge how much work I have to do to get it right.
That may have been a mistake. I can't remember the order of the verses of most songs...
And I'm having to simplify the rhythm guitar parts so I can sing and play them at the same time...

All in all, I've got one hell of a lot of practicing to do.

Bugger.

From Psycho Prawns, To Quarterhorses
Weasel Meetings, and Dog Patting Play
We all wish MrRook
A Very Happy Birthday.

I'm currently really in to this band! Heard them on Rock Radio Manchester last year and I just can't get enough of them at the mo!

You're currently in Thailand,
And very far away.
But everyone in Blogland
Wishes Happy Birthday!

Have a good day!
x x x

I got an e-mail yesterday asking me to provide meter readings for my electric. I had five days or they would estimate the bill.
A few hours later (I was in the process of actually reading the meter!) and the estimated bill arrived. For £379.53. Okay, thinks I, a bit high, but manageable. We've had the heating on and used a lot of hot water of late so yeah, should be about right. I look at the estimated meter readings and then look at the actual ones. They are way off. My actual readings are far, far higher.
Now I've been saying for the last year that we're paying too much in electric. They've disagreed time and again. This problem has only occured since we moved here in Nov 2007. Our old flat had a prepayment meter so it was easy to keep track of. We used £80 a month in 'leccy. Now we pay them £90 a month, and are in constant arrears.
Today however the arrears took a new disturbing turn. The new actual bill arrived. Based on my meter readings. £842.45!!!! FOR THREE FOOKING MONTHS!

Everything has now come to a head. I have phoned them and advised that I am disputing the accuracy of their meter. I have to take daily readings and call them back in one week.
But...
A slight issue was raised once before about arrears from the previous owner of this property. We have letters addressed for him advising that he owed £1611.21 back in July 07. This year Jan 09 we got a notice of intent for bailiffs for him again, for the same electric account for a balance of £102.91. And I know that they have had no contact with him at all, otherwise they wouldn't have sent it here.
The conclsion is that over the last 12 months someone else has paid off this debt. That someone being us. It's my belief that they have recalibrated the meter (which is digital) to show more usage than is true, which allows them to scrape back the debt. I know this is possible as they did this once with our old prepayment meter, by adjusting the rate.
Someone is going to hang for this, and it certainly is not going to be me.

Quick recap: We have bass player. We have a place to rehearse free.

New news: The owner of the hotel we're rehearsing at wants to put on a weekend long mini festival. We really want to be on the bill as we're going to make it a showcase for us by closing the gig on the Sunday.
Slight panic? No. Until Phil (The other singer/guitarist) advised me of the date. 5 weeks time...

Now I've got to learn 6 songs from scratch, and I've got to relearn how to play my own songs again, and learn my own lyrics again.

Oh crapadoodle. Better get working then. Still, jumping for joy tho!

1. In 1935 Caroline Mikkelsen was the first women to set foot in Antarctica. Where is the one place in the world you'd like to visit?
Scotland. For some reason, I've never been there.

2. February 20th is the birthday of Ivana Trump. Would you marry someone just to get (or help someone else to get) a passport like Ivana did?
Absolutely not. I've got a British Passport, it's a key to the world. *ahem*

3. On February 20th 2005 the world said good bye to actress Sandra Dee. In the movie of your life who would play you?
Probably Simon Pegg. He's potty enough!

4. February 20th is also the birthday of Leonore Cohn Rosenstiel Annenberg, American billionaire and former Chief of Protocol of the U.S. If money was no object what one item would you buy?
The £7500 Brian May Signature Guitar

5. Complete this sentence: "I think the best female role-model of all time is..."
Marie Curie. She gave her life to help billions.

Met the bass player tonight. Really nice guy called Bob. He gelled perfectly, his voice blended perfectly. And he's coming back. He's well interested. So we're auditioning the drummer next week as a group. Yes peeps, a GROUP!

We played our first piece as a three piece tonight (I added the drums on a very quick rough recording) and managed in ten minutes to work out very effective harmonies for the vocals.

I'm now having a drink to celebrate (and hopefully peel myself off the ceiling as I'm so hyper!)

I think it's gonna be a long night!

This weeks answer was bottle:

I am something to hold up a fluid. Bottle
I'm something you need to be brave. Bottle
My upper part can appear on a road. Bottle (neck)
My contents can be something you crave. (beer!)
What am I? Answer Bottle!

Well done to donnanoble and kendersrule who got it right first time!

However special mention has to go to lostjohnny, who came up with a very different answer!!!! If he gives me permission I'll add his answer and explanation to this! It had me roaring with laughter!!! See below:

I am something to hold up a fluid. Fanny
I'm something you need to be brave. Cock Grip
My upper part can appear on a road. Tyre Grip Rubber Fanny
My contents can be something you crave. Fanny
What am I? Fanny

Strangely though, his answer was actually better than mine!!!

Things progress at a frightening pace.

The lead singer and I have decided to share lead vocal and guitar duties... it should make for an interesting time! We're auditioning the bass player on thursday. We have a drummer coming for audition next wednesday.
The guitarist has designed and agreed to maintain a website for a local hotel. In exchange for free room hire for rehearsals. Whenever we want... and we will get to be the house band!!!!!

Holy shit, folks, I'm in a band! And I'm a singer and guitarist!

Keeping fingers crossed!!!!

PS! Off to curl up on my straw mat in the corner of my cave! Night Night! x x

Okay folks. Puzzle Post Time! Usual rules apply. No comments allowed, PM me with your guesses. I will answer your guess, although will be away from PC for a while due to sleep! (hopefully, this will be a bit tougher than previous weeks!)

Winners get the answer in the least number of guesses.

I am something to hold up a fluid.
I'm something you need to be brave.
My upper part can appear on a road.
My contents can be something you crave.
What am I?

Answers on a PM please! Results and answer will be tomorrow.

We've just had curry for our tea from the local takeaway... Chicken Jalfrezi is not meant to be quite that hot.
I can guarantee that it's gonna be a bloody bad night and an even worse morning tomorrow. I think I may put a loo roll in the fridge!

1. Five of your current favourite songs?

Hammer to Fall - Queen
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Brand New Start - Alter Bridge
Mars, The Bringer of War - Gustav Holst
We Believe - Queen & Paul Rodgers

2. Five things in your home used for enterainment?

TV
PC
Wii
iPod touch
Guitars

3. Five Favourite mystery and/or crime programmes on television?

Cold Case
...
err...
I don't really...
Watch them at all...

4. Five Favourite Sci-fi or fantasy programmes?

ST: OS
ST: Voyager
Red Dwarf
Babylon 5
Transformers

5. Five Favourite comedies?

Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps
Grownups
Family Guy
The Simpsons
The Big Bang Theory

6. Five Favourite reality programmes?

Ugh... bloody waste of electricity.

7. Five Favourite book titles you've read in the last year?

The Hyperion Omnibus
The Endymion Omnibus
Transformers: Ghosts of Yesterday
Inside Out - Nick Mason Biography
Queen, The Definitive Biography

8. Five random objects in the room you're in?

Cat
Myke
iPod Touch
Crystal Teddy Bear
Bamboo

9. Last five people you spoke to?

Myke
Cat
Customer
Fellow Florist
Chris The Traffic Warden

10. Five celebrities you would most like to meet?

Brian May
David Gilmour
Patrick Stewart
Jeremy Clarkson
Gentle Ben

Yes folks we survived Valentines day with no problems! We're off out tonight to have aromantic meal. With a £100 bottle of Vintage Champagne! I think we've earned it though!
Catch you all tomorrow at some point. I may not get up at all during the day!!!
x x x

Sorry folks. Not had chance to come up with a puzzle for this week, normal service will resume next week. I will be changing it to Tuesday as it conflicts with the Official Quick Quiz. Normal rules will apply, no comments, answers by PM. Winners are those who get the answers in the least guesses.

I've been blogging on it all day, I just love it, it's so much better than the nano. And it automatically checks my spelling which is kind of useful for someone with dyslexia. iLoveit...!

Myke and I have finally taken to messaging each other on here... When we're sat opposite each other!!!! Sad.

It's all your fault. I was just having a general moan about the state of certain electrical items. You never fail to go too far.
You just had to mention that Damn 4th Gen Ipod, didn't you?! Now I'm having to go and buy one. And trade in my old one. (10% discount don't ya know).
I've been getting disapproving looks from Myke all day. I managed to work myself in to a frenzy about how good a deal it was.
So, thankyou very much. I'm off to get a new Ipod Nano tonight.
Seriously, thankyou!!!!!!!
Yours truly,
Furrybelly Bearcub!!!
PS. Myke even chipped in £80 towards to the new one - I can feel a 16g coming on....

We went for a drive this afternoon. A nice trip in to Buxton in Derbyshire. Where the snow is inches thick. (You have to remember that as we live just south of Manchester, the most we get is sleet or a light smattering of snow that doesn't stick)
Click Pics to make bigger.
This was the major road between Stockport & Buxton (We stopped so I could relieve myself at the side of the road. This is one hell of a view to pee to!

Whilst in Buxton we decided to have a snowball fight. With Myke making this Giant snowball. And yes, he did launch it at me. I found my skateboard made a passable snowball shield!

The journey back was a little treacherous, at one point we were driving in the clouds and visibility was very limited. However this was generally the road ahead:

It was a nice lovely day!

Okay folks, I've finally finished buggering about with my blog now. It now represents by bearcave better! Special thanks to Scoobydoofus for his superb advice on the font colours! It had a huge impact on the final look! x

According to the radio today, a high up mucketty muck in the army is now saying that Basra in Iraq now has a lower crime rate than Manchester. Wonderful. Now you've fixed every fucker else's country without them asking, get the armed forces back home, and on our streets, protecting the very people they were sworn to protect. And no, I'm not advocating Martial Law. I would simply feel safer knowing that the Armed Forces were there to protect the British People. And let's face it, they know more self control that the British Police who seem to think that they can ignore the law when it suits them.

Bring the Boys Back Home - Now - before anyone else has to die defending a foreign country who never wanted the troops there in the first place. A country that we invaded, not to ensure a better future for all concerned but for oil. For pure greed. I only hope that Bush and Blair live long enough to face the War Crimes Trial that they deserve.

I've been stood here playing on blog for nearly an hour now. And no-one has called the shop, or walked through the door.

Credit crunch?

No, the sun's come out. Everyone must've got out for the day. Except us.

Meh, I hope they all catch colds.

It was just time... I was bored in work... I was bored of the design.

*slinks off quietly so no-one notices he's only just figured out how to do it...*

I've just had absolute murders with my iTunes and iPod. I have ended up having to format my iPod, delete my playlist and reinstall everything from scratch.

When you consider that the damn thing didn't even come with an instruction manual (because it's so obviously easy of course) you'd think they'd keep it simple. But no, they have to constantly fuck about with things. "oooh, we're making it better" they say "We're fixing the bugs" they say. No, you're fucking about because if you eventually fuck things up for everyone, they'll assume that it's just because it's old and buy a new one.

It's about time that we insisted on two things.
1. Things are made properly, to last.
2. If it ain't broke, don't fucking fix it.

Off to bed in a grumpy mood now.

Grrrr.

1. Have you kept your new year's resolutions?
Yes, I made a resolution 15 years ago never to make a resolution again. I've stuck to it since then.

2. Has 2009 been a better year so far than 2008?
Yes and no. Financially it's been bad for the business, but personally it's on the up!

3. Name one big thing you plan to do in the rest of 2009.
Get our new band up and running (Yes folks it's going like a bomb so far.)

4. Do you think the credit crunch will affect you more in 2009?
I think so... although I'm not sure how at this point.

5. If money were no object, what would you like to do in 2009?
Be in a recording studio with a band, whilst paying someone else to handle all my paperwork... bliss.

Congratulations to the two winners:

lostjohnny
ravingmad

who both got the answer first time!

Well done folks!

Okay folks, quick puzzle post before the main event of the Official Quick Quiz at 9pm. This is just a little something to mull over. In order to let most have a go, I'll suspend comments on this post. If you want to guess Private Message me with your guess, one per message. The winner will be the person who gets the right answer with the fewest number of guesses and will be announced tomorrow around this time. I will not answer messages, so you will not know if you get it right until tomorrow...! Here goes:

I could be sat on your desk, or by your tv.
I have been sailing the seas in WW II.
You can find me in the House of Commons.
Or in the north east of Hyde Park.
But it's very unlikely I'll be there after dark.
What am I?

Answers on a PM, one per message please! Winner tomorrow!

UPDATE: I'LL ANSWER MESSAGES WHEN SENT TO CONFIRM WHETHER RIGHT OR WRONG - OTHERWISE EVERYONE WILL ONLY GUESS ONCE... D'OH!

This is a true tale. It consists of the last three or so years of our lives. It's going to be a long story, but it's one that bears noting. I'll make it as brief as I can, but the trouble is all in the details.

About four years ago, I was working for a commercial printers. The money was good, but the office scene was palling badly for me. At this time Myke was trying to salvage the business he had bought, desperately trying to turn it around. I was helping when and how I could. Myke met a woman while running some wedding fairs. For the sake of legality I will simply refer to her as G. She was running a shop, and seemed genuine, if very quiet. She voiced some ideas about wanting to move to our area as it was more affluent than where she was.
About this time, I started helping her, working a couple of hours a week. I started enjoying the job more than my day job. She suggested I work for her. I told her I'd mull it over as my career with the printers was taking off.
Around this time, she alledged she was attacked in her shop. We all rushed to her aid, running her to the police, supporting her. She moved in to our shop. It was around this time I accepted her offer and quit my job. Everything was fine for about a year. We merged companies with Myke. The police gathered evidence, and the CPS said that the evidence was too contradictory for them to go ahead with the court case. Time passed with no major events. Then I had an accident and broke my ankle. I was off work for 10 weeks. When I returned something had changed. She began to argue with me over the smallest things. She would do things to wind me up when no-one else was around. She would then cause an argument in front of everyone, I would blow up and she would run off crying. This carried on for about 18 months. Eventually, Myke and I were arguing daily, and she always seemed to be involved somehow. It got to the point where we were both considering whether to go our seperate ways.
Only at the last minute Myke saw something, some small thing that made him see things differently. Suddenly he saw what she was up to. She had been systematically destroying the business, and systematically destroying our relationship.
She's moved to Spain now. We're still here, and very much together. And everyone who ever knew her, now sees that she was a compulsive liar, and a sociopath. She destroyed every chance of happiness she or anyone around her could have. There's a lot more to this story, but I feel I've probably bored you enough.
Take note folks. If someone around you seems to be acting out of character, look around them. See if someone new is pulling strings behind them. Because that's what she did to us.

All this time I've been bemoaning my fate at being the only musician in my circle of friends... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I put an advert in the shop the other day for musicians. No-one responded. At all. "Ho-hum," though I after a day or two,(cue welsh accent) "I knew I was the only musician in the village". After a moment I thought, "Wonder what's on loot's website?" So I answered an advert, not really hoping for much.

Spurred on by my obvious bravery, I set up a profile on a website, and answered a wanted ad.

I got a response from the loot today. And an informal audition for Thursday... oh shit.

I got a response from the other site tonight. And a possible audition for Sunday... oh shit.

I'd better practice.

I just bought a Peavey PA system (Amp and 2x 15" speakers) for live work from my Uncle... Myke took one look at the speakers and amp. "Shitting hell" he muttered. "Big innit?" I said with a laugh. "300 watt or so I think." Then I pulled the Amp out of the bag. And noticed the 800 watt at the top.
"Shitting hell" I thought to myself. I just bought it for £200!!!!!
Shitting hell indeed.

Thanks to everyone who nominated me for a bloscar for best newcomer - I'm really chuffed to the there!! I love this site and everyone in it, to the point that it's becoming a bit of an obsession for me!

We went out last night in to Manchester for a good boogie/bevvie night. We had a great night, eventually rolling in at about four in the morning. I woke up this afternoon at twelve forty!!!! I've not slept that long for bloody ages! This afternoon we're off to Llandudno for a day out - and I'm driving the somewhat perky Rav4!

Have a nice afternoon folks!