Bearcub's Soapbox

We were taking the Rav 4 for a bit of a spin, as we've not been out in it for a couple of days. I said to M, "Head to Chester". He started manoeuvring towards the nearest motorway junction. "Go straight down the main road," said I, "It's about four miles shorter to the right road." M replied, "Nah, I'm gonna jam my foot down on the motorway." A mile or so passed, and I decided to hazard a question. "Why come this way, it takes longer?" He replied, "I get to put my foot down on the motorway, the car needs to spread her legs."
After a couple of minutes of helpless laughing from me, I suggested, "I think you meant to say stretch her legs!"
B
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We went out yesterday and bought a new TV. I should explain that this was not just a silly splurge, but done with reason. We re-gigged the lounge so we could get the Christmas Tree in. As a result, the TV went in to the corner of the room. We have a big lounge, and the TV was only a 28" screen. I sit furthest away in the opposite corner. I couldn't bloody read anything on it - and I've got 20/20 eyesight! M also had the same problem, but he does wear glasses. "We need a bigger telly" I said. Crimbo sales called and we found a nice 40" LCD TV with a fabulous clear picture and a built in free view box!
My Wii games never looked so good!
B
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Jaguar are in the process of being possibly bailed out of the shit by the UK Gov't. Funny, I didn't see the letter from Mr Brown offering to pull my company out of the shit a couple of months ago.

How is this possible? I can just see the letter now from Jag's owners:

Mr G Brown
10 Downing Street
London

Re: Please help Jaguar survive to see a new year

Dear Binky,

So long since we got together for golf. Sorry I missed your last birthday. I was busy holidaying in The Maldives for a couple of months.
Anyway, I've run in to a spot of bother. My chaps at my little car project have made a bit of a boo-boo. I didn't pay any attention to them, and they produced a long line of slightly overpriced cars that no-one liked. We're in a spot of bother as I can't afford the mortgage payment on my third châteaux, whilst spending a couple of extra months on that fact finding trip around Morocco.
Any chance you can give us some of that taxpayer stuff everyone's on about, so I can go back to my trip in peace and shut up the wingers?

Love,
Dinky.

PS How's the new car working out for you?

I can see it now...

Just read this on Yahoo - couldn't believe what I was reading!
Clickety Click

This is what happens when we let Laywers roam in the free world. The world goes sue crazy. I mean, suing someone who's just saved your life?

I broke my leg a few years ago (I fell out of the works van). It was my fault, and as it's my company I couldn't sue anyone. But I wouldn't want to anyway - as long as I was paid fully for my time off as the accident happened in work. If not, I would then think I had some sort of case. But even then, only for the pay I was missing out on.

Quite frankly, this sort of thing just pisses me off. It's a waste of everyone's time. And to be honest, an event like this should make you appreciate your life a little more.

Oh crap... we've just spent £4,000 wholesale on flowers - and we've only got Three days left to sell it all in....

Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit... SHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTT!

Ah well, hopefully, we'll be run off our feet for three days and sell out...

Anyone want to buy a flower shop?

B
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I treated myself yesterday to a bottle of JD single barrel. Never seen it before, it comes in a natty bottle and costs a fair bob (three times the price of a normal bottle by volume).

And by god is it nice. Standard JD by the triple measure will last me 10 minutes. I've been nursing a double for the last half hour, and I've still got one and a half measures left.

What a way to finish the day!!!!

Do Bearcubs purr? Yes they do on this stuff!!!!

B
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I've been off for a couple of days, I've been really ill with real flu! Not man flu, mind you, but real shaking flu, with fevers, headaches and a chest infection to boot!!!!

But I'm dosed up on pain killers and booze, (shit loads of each) and quite frankly, I feel fine!

I'll post again tomorrow... and let you if I still feel the same!

Bearcub
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Got the conditional offer today for the speeding fine. Bastard.

3 points and £60 fine.

As a result I now cannot pass my motorbike test that I was planning on doing next year, as I will automatically be reverted back to a provisional license. New law for new riders states that if you get 6 points on your license within the first two years you will automatically be reverted to a learner again. However, these 6 points include any that are already on your license before you pass your bike test.

Strangely though, part of the law says that you cannot be penalised twice for the same crime.

I get fined and penalty points on my license, but if I pass my bike test within the next three years, I will be penalised for a crime I have already committed and been punished for.

I will now begin protesting by targeting mobile and fixed cameras in my own unique way. Omlette anyone?

Bearcub
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I've just managed to delete all the numbers from my mobile...

I backed them up first, and ended up with one number repeated seven times.

And it was someone that I don't really want to speak to, they were on my rejects list.

Damn.

Bearcub
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Okay, you have been warned once, this post will contain many swear words and expletives.

Now you have been warned twice, if you are still reading, you are accepting that you will encounter foul language.

I am ANGRY. FURIOUS. VENGEFUL.

I have been caught speeding. 47mph in a 30mph zone. My Fault? Yes. Absolutely. If I hadn't been spanking the nuts off the van rushing to make a delivery that was timed and dropped on me at the last minute, I'd have been fine. So before anyone comes back with the old "well you shouldn't have been speeding in the first place, [sniff]" comment, do me a favour and don't friggin bother. I know that already. That's not what I'm pissed off about.

If I murder someone, I am arrested and charged. I am interred until the court case, where I am allowed to plead my case, guilty or not guilty. All evidence is presented to my legal team.

Not so, if you are caught speeding. You get sent a form stating the notice of Intention of Prosecution. You have to sign to say you were the driver at the time of the alledged offence. This is tantamount to admitting your guilt. Your only defence at this point is incorrect camera calibration etc. Which you cannot find out, until you decide to appeal, go to court and enter a not guilty plea. Then you can have access to the evidence which will allow you to build or alternatively destroy your case.

See this link below for some surprising information on inaccurate speed cameras.

And people say, "well you shouldn't have been speeding in the first place.

Innocent until proven guilty? Not if you're caught speeding obviously.

Cheshire Cuntstanbulary, take note. I will be watching. Every speed trap you put up. I will be there.
With something at hand to stop you removing the basic human rights of the people you are sworn to defend. Put a cunt in a uniform and you have a well dressed cunt with a power complex. Get back out on the road and solve all the knife crime first.

Can you spell "Entrapment"? No? I'm not surprised. It comes next to "Dangerous criminal" in the dictionary, and you can't find them either.

Bearcub

I was happy and bubbling the other day, (see previous blog), I'm a bass player in a band etc...

Only then I received the set list:

21 songs in total that the band play.
I can play a grand total of 2.
I have heard 10-11 on the radio.
1 is Hendrix (Of whom I'm not really a fan), horrendously complex, and not even a nice song.

The only saving grace is that most are pretty easy to play, I can sight read the chord sheets.

And the guitarist is very happy with my playing style. We gelled instantly, and boxed off one song in one night.

I'm now very, very busy trying to learn unfamiliar songs, on an instrument that I'm only just remembering how to play!!!

Bearcub
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